deelegend

wat am i tryin to be

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:37:06 GMT

u know its crazy i walk in this world feelin like im alone the only one tryin to know everything there is to know then theres sum who bring me back befor it turns upside down sum i pushed away i struggle to sleep knowin wat i did and wats to come my dreams r striking me i sit and pray asking for help for guidance know i have to do it on my own inchs from breaking down fighting wit my self i dont know u can say im crazy my peronalitys are startin to get to i dont think can be the old me so much pain guilt .........illl be back i need to do somting forgive me

WOW

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 07:43:59 GMT

I'VE LOOK AND ALOT I'VE WRITIN DOSN'T MAKE SINCE ALL DAT STUFF IS NOTIN NOW I GOT BIGGER THINGS BUT IM NOT GOING TO SIT AND WRITE ABOUT IT IM GOING TO DO THE DO I GOT A NEW NICK NAME YING AND YANG ILL TELL U Y LATER AND IM DONE WIT DA BLUE BUT BYE FOR NOW I GOT TO FIND OUT IF IM GOING TO DIE SOON (REALTALK SOME SICKNESS BUT I REALLY DONT WAT TO KNOW)BYE BYE

THE GURL ID LOVED(IM SO LOST )

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 11:08:23 GMT

WHAT WAS I ON????????????

THE GURL I LOVE IS GONE I WAS TOLD I'LL FIND SOME ONE BETTER IT BEEN MOSTLY A YEAR
AND ALL I DEAL WITH IS YOUNG KIDS FROM MY PAST DER WAS A COUPLE OF AGE OR MORE BUT THERE WAS SO KINKS I STILL HAVN'T FOUND ONE LIKE CLOSE OR BETTER WAIT I DID BUT TWO PROBLEMS SHE'S DEAD AND SHE WAS FAMOUS LISA LOPES (LEFT)EYE DER WAS SO MANY THING WE SHARED THE WAY SHE THOUGHT THE THINGS SHE DID BUT SO PERFECT AND YET GONE BUT ANOUTHER GURL ALOT ASK Y I LOVE HER SHE DID ALOT SHE MAD ME HAPPY SHE GAVE ME CONFRONT SHE TOOK CARE FOR ME SHE CARED FOR ME SHE WAS OPEN SHE THOUGHT DIFFERENT AND SO MUCH MORE BUT THE MORE I TRY TO GETT HER BACKIT SEEMS THE MORE I PUSH HER AWAY I REALLY WANT HER BACKI FEEL SO WEAK AND ITS SO BAD THAT I IMAGINE THE WAY SHE FEELS BOUT FROME TIME TO TIME LIKE NOW IT SEEMS THAT WOULD BE BULLSHIT TO HER AND MOST THE THINGS I SAY MEAN NOTING NO MORE BUT THATS JUST HOW I FEEL FRIENDS TELL ME THAT SHE WANTS ME AND I'LL SHE HER AND FEEL SOMTING DIFFERENT LOSS IN MY MIND CANT GET HER OUT I TRY BUT I CAN'T SHE'S THE ONLY ONE I CAN TALK ABOUT EVERY THING WITHIN OR OUT THE BOX THERE DEJ BUT I FUCK UP SOMTIN BAD TRYIN TO ACT YEA ACT I FEEL......SO USELESS I CANT DO THIS NO MORE I'LL FINNISH TOMORROW IT HURTS WAY TO MUCH RIGHT NOW AND NO ONE TO SHARE THE PAIN WITH LOL

THE WAY I FEEL

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 10:37:21 GMT

THE WAY I FEEL THE WAY I FEEL IS THAT THERE IS NO ONE THAT FEELS MY PAIN
THE WAY I FEEL THE WAY I FEEL IS EVERY ONE AROUND IS WAITING FOR ME TO GO NSANE

I FEEL LIKE I'M CAGE IN WITH PEOPLE WHO FEELS THE SAME ABOUT ONE ANOTHER AND YET I STILL FEEL THAT THE GURL OF MY DREAMS WILL SET ME FREE CAME CLOSE......BUT MY FEELINGS WAS CRUSHED SO I TRY TO GO ON AND SEAL THE PAIN WITH IN ME I KNOW SHE'LL NEVER LOOK AT ME THE SAME FRIENDS FAM HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME THAT'S THE WAY I FEEL I CAN'T WAKE UP WITH OUT MY MIND HURTING THE PAIN IS CRUCIAL........... FEELINS PLEASURE AND PAIN U ASK YOUR SELF WAT U SUFFER FROM ME THAT'S EASY I TURN TO PEOPLE WIT NO CLUE NO WILLING TO HELP NOTING BUT GIGGLE IN YOUR FACE FAM I LOVE TO DEF BUT DA TIME WERE YOU DO THEY LOVE YOU AND Y Y THEY TREAT U THIS WAY I LIVE IN A CORRUPTED WORLD WHERE PEOPLE KILL STEAL AND HATE FOR FUN DEN TURN AROUND AND GET ON HIS KNEES AND PRAY

THIS IS THE I FEEL PAIN
THIS IS THE WAY I FEEL INSANITY

my time is up

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 05:58:49 GMT

my time is up
its past me up
my time is up
its time for me to pay my dues
my time is up
i can see its coming
my time is up
i knew i was coming up next
my time is up
i dont feel well
my time is up
theres no bail for this
my time is up but its ok i did wat
i want to do to be comeplet i found my love
dont tell:(

(im not playin around realtalk)

im stuck

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 05:50:49 GMT

imstuck i cant let go
im stuck i really cant let go
i love her i really love her
but i hurt her i really hurt her
she left
but im stuck
i got so much from her good and bad
but im stuck
she say no way
but im stuck
i try and try but prob not hard enough she no
but im still stuck
i got hurt to but im stuck
i put up wit it
but im stuck
i seen it
but im stuck
i believed it
but im stuck
will i get it o will i get left stuck

im losin it

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:18:37 GMT

im so close to killin myself
im not post to go trew all dis shit at this age
im losin my head
i got no one in my conner
i tryed and i keep on tyrin
i need to go back to theropy
im lossin ppl
i dont know where to turn
i cause pain to one person and da pain comes back 10 folds
can any one see me
all i can say im sorry
is cuzz of my past that i ended up this way
y cant know one see where im comin from
i want to give up it sounds so good to
im fightin with my self every day
i hide my pain
these demons wont leav me alone
i pray
is this a test
tell me
am going mad
will i make it
TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this thug

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 05:01:45 GMT

yea i killed yea i stole shit yea i got in fighs yea i slang da shit yea use ppl yea i lied yea been to jail yea i done dirt but i changed i think diffrent and i walk diffrent i act diffrent i care i pray i do wat it takes my hart still hasnt stop hurtn but i still got to get going i dont think its going to stop

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 04:57:01 GMT

if i do move will things get better will i move on i dont knowim going to keep on pushn

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 04:52:08 GMT

what do u do when u loss the gurl u love and u know its all ur falt what do u do when cant sleep cuzz u thinking of her what do u do when cant eat what do u do when u fall apart after u got right and its to late idk help me i dont want to move on unless im with her just.......................... idk know i want to give up but thats not me no more

i cant believe it

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 21:20:56 GMT

why i had to so stupid why i had to be so lazy why now all dis stuff i just realize made me lose ppl that care for ppl i would give life for gone why i ask u i thoght to day was going to be a good day last night i rote a song for her its one more chance at love when i was done i was so happy i kew she was going to call me and sumthing good would come out of it i even prayed but now after the call and doning some reading my hart is broken fuck that i have no hart i gave it to her and now im falln apart what happen to me the boss the gangsta the O.G. im soft when im thinkin bout her she dosnt want me back i have change i feel it my famliy see im getin there trust back little buy little kylee i lossing more and more and i wanted is one more just in case i leav she dont know and i dont think she would care i might be moving and its up to me i havent told any body i got to finish getin my hair cut but any ways i need help cuzz when i talk to her and tell her how i feel soft yea the O.G. the boss the killa DAMN I should have got right when i was wit her shes all ready back to dating and i kant but im going to ty one more time and it i still dont get it im gone and start overi whis she knew wat she do for me

yes

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 23:13:42 GMT

i got wat i wanted i got some one to talk to i feel lil better but theres somting missing wat i dont know or do i

.....................

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 19:31:17 GMT

i find my self on here more and more all i wanted was to talk bout my problems but no one has time they go talk to them i tried go talk to him hes gone go talk to her she busy my life isnt that when i look at it but im just not happy no more wow im sittin her and and my sis playin a song from grease it brings back the times when we was in the playjust now lol a tear drop from my eye thats a first why do i feel this i dont want to complain or cry about it i just wanted to talk is that hard i listin to every one else and i try to help them to my best but i cant get the same back i tryin to just blow it over my head but it just wont do it its stuck leaving down and out im back to putin on a fake smile

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 19:14:59 GMT

y do i feel lonley i dont know y ..........................................................................................................................................................

no one

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 19:12:40 GMT

alll i want is to talk where is every one

my dreams

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 17:52:15 GMT

well i couldnt sleeep lats night after i got off the phone with kylee but i went to sleep a couple time and all of them was when me and kylee was at her house lay in down on the couch watchin tv and the last one i didnt like cuss i didnt get it i was on my knees in the dark alone who knows but hey ill find out and kylee hasnt posted notin in along time ?????????

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 17:47:56 GMT

well my day yesterday started off great dje told me to ask her if she wants to go to the movies so i did and she said ok that wass good she told me call her later so i said ok then i got up left to go see who wanted to go downtown wit me like always no one so i went by my self i got down there it was coo but they was stopin earlie cuzz there was a fight i seen ppl i knew some i like and some i didnt but it was wat ever when that was done i went to the 16 street to post up and walk around seen my home gurl from way back we kick it and talk and gave me some advise of what to do with this kylee thing so it was dark i didnt know wat time it was i walk to bus stop once agin like its not new some one has to talk shit i didnt say notin cuzz i knew i was going to fight if i did i told kylee i would stop so i avoided that so the 44 took for ever so i goton the 43 but littel did i know that bus stop in park hill the one place i do not want to be in i had to wait for another one so i get off i sittin post mindin my own biss till the nigg that was talkin shit hit me in the back of the head so now im gettin hit in the back and the head he stops and walks off i was hurt but i dont know wat hit me but my skin felt tight i could see it started going dark i got up i was piss past anything i ran up on him pick him up by his legs and threw him down i pick him up and went off i stop went to the bus stop and left him there we leav i get on havana and the cops stop the bus and they come on and grab me and put me in hand cuffs i did say notin they patt me down they ask if i had anything to do with the shootin at the parkin ride i say no they get a call and they let me go and rush off i get back in montbello home i call kylee let here know wats up hung up got on the 44 and went home got there i called kylee now i know she wanted space dje said try it so i did plus she said call later i did we talk for a min thin shi say call me in 10 min so i say ok about 20 pass i knew she was on the phone talkin to some one so i said ok any way i call her back we talk for a lil wile long and she puts me on hold she gets back on and i tell her that my body hurtsand she say that i should go to sleep well i knew wat that mean she said that we wasnt even post to be talkin and i keep askin my self how can i show her i changed if she dont want to talk but its ok its ok my day well it was ok

how was yo day ?

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 17:47:37 GMT

.....................

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 02:03:50 GMT

just min ago i ask her to read all this spent all day rightn and i was hopein i get a msg back but it was noting

cold pt2

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 01:32:08 GMT

in dis life of mine i cant pictur y is it all a lie y must i wounder y theres no one for as im foced to pull the gun and wacth them run is how i feel non to feel the pain i go thourgh non that see me and no when im realy hurtn its cold world and u got to hold yo own is wat learn theres know one to hold u down or get yo back lonly is how i feel as i go back to keepin my lips seal and just pull the steal they ask will my hurt heal i tell them i have no hart its notin there i told them im dead and wounder y im mad its not that no more im just sad i want to lie down and never get up i shy and look into my and see notin but a demon the angel is gone am i the omly one feeling like this plz tell me im not alone

what to do

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 01:21:41 GMT

what to do im stuck this gurl realy mean somting to me if im feeling this way im hurt in so many ways its not funny i lost motivation to do things i dont want to go out oor do noting its like theres noting left for me to do i feel dead i know im going to loss her and never see or talk to her agin not hold kiss non of that agin when i think bout it my chest hurts and my stomic wat am i to do i think i need to go to the docter and get counsling for some thing but it going to be hard cuzz i dont talk to ppl about me but one person and she gone i would love to kill my self but its a sin an refuse to do that no matter how good that sounds but is ok my past i cachting up to me and i got some msg that can hadle this prob now for me its kill or be killed but will see im lost

a note to my love

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 19:45:41 GMT

im sorry for hurtn u
im sorry for not doin wat i say
im sorry for lien
im sorry for let u down
im sorry for not treatn u like the queen that u r
im sorry for not given u more when u wanted it
im sorry for not shown my love enofe
im sorry for doing worng
im sorry for listning
im sorry for not showing up
im sorry for not being there when u needed me
im sorry for not being me
im sorry for not changein
im sorry for not livein up to my word
im sorry for for given u so many excuses
im sorry for not holdin u
im sorry for not kissin u when u wanted it
im sorry for not holdin yo hand when u wanted
im sorry for not callin u
im sorry for not being there for u cry on
im sorry for makin u cry
im sorry for supplin
im sorry for givein a nigga a chance whit u
im sorry for letin u go
im sorry for sayin sorry so many times
im sorry for my mind still being in the past
im sorry for standing u up
im soory for not sayin noting when somting need to be said
im sorry for this
im sorry for not standin up for u

im sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorryim sorry im sorry baby i realy fuck up i did this to my self im not going to lose u
i love u more than u know things are going to change i put that me and u they

x#kyllee wellons#x

its just me

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:47:29 GMT

yes im all alone noe no one to see where i come from to feel wit i say or to be real wit them days are gone the ones the ones that say they love me i dont feel it no mo its just me once agin talk to my self hold it all in and just wait for some one to come and set it free even thought its not going to be good if it happens thiings got to go back to old way i trian more and get ready get back the tools i need agin its already happing haha myspace is somting ppl can talk shit and act like i wont find them haha thats funny its some thing i dont like to but they ak form it i was able to ignor it when u know i didnt worry bout it but now when they say they going to go after some one love then i have to do i have to do maybe if i let him do it i wont have to dill wit this but thats a person with a hart and i have only a lil bit of that leftin the wrold your alone the person u have is you

my life

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 07:05:56 GMT

today i lost my love the one i would anything for when ever she ask or try to the one i wanted to give dat one ring the one to have my first i lost and im feeling i might not get her back but im going to do wat it taks i lost cuzz of my family and my stupid self how could i move on if i love her this deeply if she moves on what am post to do i've never felt this way about a gurl better yet a women she keeps my game tight i know ppl tell her things keep haven a dream of her cheatin on me thats what maks me want to do better wit her but its to late i think she found some one new i think i fuck up real bad she is my life and know my chest hurt im my hart and i dont want to go back to the old me i had no hart i got wit her i got one more chance to show her and i will or else im going back to old way with out her there is no me theres more to wright but later

Fri, 16 May 2008 15:44:51 GMT

it seems that nobody wants me wit her they imply or how ever u spell it that im not good enough for her even when i feel so right and it hurts her i feel wrong sometimes i try not to say nothing so i do make her mad but it kills inside i just want to help thats me i don't want to be a know it all or try to be one i love her ill do anything for her there is nobody better dose my actions speak more than my words to her hmmmmmmmm i got much stress already i need to think ill b back